"Let's have some resilient fun" shows some important topics in a more relaxed and joyful way. After all, humour is quoted as a desirable characteristic of resilient individuals like us!
"Simple Sabotage Field Manual"
The "Simple Sabotage Field Manual" by the United States Office of Strategic Services is a historical publication written during the early 1940s, amid World War II. This manual acted as a guide for ordinary civilians to conduct simple acts of sabotage against enemy operations without the need for specialized training or equipment.
I find this an amusing read, as many of the techniques are commonly applied—albeit unintentionally—in today's workplaces. Below, I describe my favorite ones, and you can find the entire manual in the reference section at the end of this article.
The group of techniques I bring to your attention does not require destructive tools. Instead, they are based on universal opportunities to make faulty decisions, adopt a noncooperative attitude, and induce others to follow suit.
Insist on Doing Everything Through "Channels"
Never permit short-cuts to be taken in order to expedite decisions.
It is very important to create silos—they slow down the organization, isolate people, and create useful conflicts that support sabotage work. You might say, for example:
"We have to follow company governance."
"This process is owned by another function, and we cannot compromise on compliance requirements."
These are very safe statements that position you as a good citizen and can even help with career progression.
Make “Speeches”
Talk as frequently as possible and at great length. Illustrate your “points” by long anecdotes and accounts of personal experiences. Never hesitate to make a few appropriate “patriotic” comments.
It has become very popular in business to be authentic—the more personal experiences you share, the more authentic you appear. Make sure to also speak often about company values (a very "patriotic" topic in most organizations), especially when you don't have strong arguments. For example:
"I am afraid that this project is not aligned with our values..."
Continue with a long story that is loosely connected to the company's value statement. The last thing anyone can complain about is your dedication to the company and its fundamental beliefs.
Attempt to Make the Committees as Large as Possible—Never Less Than Five.
We have a proverb in Poland that nicely captures the essence of this technique: "Where there are six cooks, there is nothing to eat." In English, the equivalent is "Too many cooks spoil the broth." More than five people in a meeting will effectively ensure that no decisions are taken, and some participants may leave the meeting more confused than before.
To execute this, you might say:
"We have to make sure all functions are represented so that we don't miss any important perspective."
This sounds very reasonable, and no one should suspect that you're sabotaging the work.
Revisit Decisions Made in Previous Meetings
Refer back to matters decided upon at the last meeting and attempt to re-open the question of the advisability of that decision.
I find this technique particularly powerful. It is extremely effective in disorganizing decision processes, confusing, and demotivating people—especially if execution has already started.
To execute this, be creative and say things like:
"I am worried..."
"Are we certain we had all the facts on the table?"
"I am the first one to blame, but..."
Advocate "Caution"
Be “reasonable” and urge your fellow-conferees to be “reasonable” and avoid haste which might result in embarrassments or difficulties later on.
This technique creates a seniority aura around yourself. You have a great chance to slow down important decisions and come out stronger down the line.
Use statements similar to previous techniques and mix them creatively for better effect. For example:
"It is a strategic decision, so we must ensure we don't miss any critical risks."
"Maybe we should involve more functions." (you add channels to the game)
"We need a strong working group to investigate all the implications." (extend the group to more than five)
add a fancy story, ideally mixing in company values (speeches).
Learn as much as you can about data protection, legal risks, tax exposure, product quality issues, and supplier compliance. These are excellent supportive topics in this area.
Create Ambiguity Around Accountability
Be worried about the propriety of any decision, see that three people have to approve everything where one would do. Raise the question of whether an action lies within the jurisdiction of the group or whether it might conflict with some policy.
Always question fast approval routes or individual accountability.
What you want to achieve is to make sure that nobody feels accountable. Nothing is better than long approval chains or raising concerns about the right place to make decisions. If you play this right, you can initiate never-ending discussions involving many people and distract them from adding real value to the business.
Undermine Morale by Rewarding Inefficiency
To lower morale and with it, production, be pleasant to inefficient workers; give them undeserved promotions.
The best technique for this purpose is the one I described in Are you the Best? Use a lot of empty compliments—you will ensure that poor performers think they are doing a good job and frustrate the best people in the company. Most importantly, you will come across as a caring individual who takes people's motivation very seriously and makes a real effort to drive good spirit.
Conclusions
I'm having fun today—don't do any of these things! When you see anyone doing them (I'm sure you see that more often than you'd like), show them the Simple Sabotage Field Manual and explain the sabotage impact of those actions. It's unlikely you will stop many of them, but it's worth a try.
Remember, sometimes these behaviors stem from positive intentions, like ensuring compliance or fostering inclusivity. However, taken to extremes, they can hinder organizational effectiveness.
Disclaimer: This post is satirical. Any resemblance to actual management techniques is purely coincidental and frankly, a bit concerning.
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