"Let's have some resilient fun" is a new theme on Resilience Institute Blog aimed at showing some important topics in a more relaxed and joyful way. After all, humour is quoted as a desirable characteristic of resilient individuals like us!
Today's target: the uplifting "You are the best!"
Has anyone ever told you that you are the best? We all crave compliments, but maybe this one goes a little bit too far.
How do you feel when someone tells you this? Personally, I’ve always found it a bit weird and somewhat suspicious (I am not Usain Bolt and do not have a confirmed prove of the world record). Why would they say something like this? Is this genuine, or maybe it is a part of an agenda, or maybe they don't really know what they are talking about? If you’ve ever questioned this, congratulations—you’re probably not delusional.
Let's break this into a very simple decision tree, which should help you to process and make sense out of it.
Decision tree
At the end of the day, every scenario I can think of is bad. It is never good for you to hear this.
They actually mean it: Unless this is your mother you're dealing with someone dangerously out of touch with reality. There are 8.2 billion people on this rock - what are the odds you're really "the best"? This person is likely an optimist who may take unreasonables risks, easily break under prolonged pressure and take you down with them.
They don't mean it, but they care: the well-intentioned softie. They want to motivate you but lack the spine to give actual feedback. Expect plenty of thumbs-up emojis, but zero useful insights. No feedback, no growth. How to build self-awareness with those people around?
They don't mean it and don't care: Welcome to Management 101. This person attended a seminar once where they learned that compliments increase productivity by 0.03%. They're just following the script, hoping you'll work late again. Spoiler: They won't notice if you do. What are your chances of progressing in that place?
The Cynical Survival Guide
Don't get excited. It's probably not a real compliment, and even if it is, see point 1 above.
Stay alert. People who hand out superlatives too easily are usually compensating for something. Better not to find out what it is.
Question everything including this advice. Especially this advice.
Bottom Line
In a world where "you're the best" is about as meaningful as a motivational poster in an abandoned office, your best defense is a finely-tuned BS detector. Keep it calibrated, keep it close, and maybe - just maybe - you'll survive another day in the corporate jungle.
Disclaimer: This post is satirical. Any resemblance to actual management techniques is purely coincidental and frankly, a bit concerning.
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Hi Piotr,
This time I dissagree.
If you would have diversified team of individuals with different characteristics and talents. Let’s say soccer team has amazing striker which always score a goal and drive the team to wins.Obviously this person is not the best in the world, it is even impossible to compare football strikers.
However what’s wrong with truly complementing this player without any hidden intentions as „the best”(in the team); or „the best”(in my social network). What’s wrong with empowering people and developing aureola effect, which may lead to improvement of results/resilience?
Going further with you thought process this term would need to be totally banned. Even golden medalist from Olympic Games shouldn’t be described as the best. Neither…